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TNA Impact Wrestling Results: Feast Or Fired?

TNA Impact Wrestling
January 23, 2015
Manhattan Center
New York, New York

First Match: Feast or Fired Match 
Gunner vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards vs. DJ Zema Ion vs. Rockstar Spud vs. Bram vs. Magnus vs. Samuel Shaw vs. Austin Aries vs. Robbie E vs. Crazy Steve vs. Jesse Godderz

The match starts in pure chaos. Crazy Steve blocks Robbie from climbing up to a briefcase while the Wolves hold Gunner down. Velvet Sky gets on the apron to distract Steve with her ass, but he no-sells it, so she climbs up to do more of the same and that distracts him just long enough for Robbie E to slam him off the corner, hold Velvet up to grab the briefcase for him, and he takes off as Steve chases him to the back. Spud tries to climb up for one of the briefcases, but he isn’t tall enough to reach it, and Jessie slams him down. Spud outmaneuvers Jessie and DJ Z, as well as the Wolves, and then Bram and Magnus, and he’s the last man left in the ring! He rushes back up one of the corners, but Sam Shaw is there and drags Spud back down and tosses him clear across the ring. Shaw goes up, but Gunenr shoves him off, Aries hits Gunner with an IED, and Spud tosses Aries, then climbs up on Shaw’s back and uses him as a stepstool to get one of the briefcases.

Jessie shoves Aries to the floor as he goes up for one of the briefcases, but turns around right into the assisted Alarm Clock by the Wolves, who double howl and go for a dive…but are stopped by Angelina Love shaking her ass now. Aries takes them both out with a double clothesline and goes for the heat seeking missile…then stops at the last minute and goes up the corner to get one of the briefcases. Then he hits the dive. That Aries. He heads to the back, and we’re down to one briefcase as Gunner throws his twin Bram into the ring and I use Gunner’s tattoos as a helpful reference to tell them apart. Bram and Gunner duke it out on the top rope, Magnus powerbombs them both to the mat, and he climbs up to get the last briefcase.

Winners: Austin Aries, Robbie E, Magnus and Rockstar Spud 

Bobby Lashley Backstage Segment:

Bobby Lashley backstage and asks him what he’s going to do about MVP tonight. Lashley says he’s going to the ring to get his damn title back.

Magnus & Bram Backstage Segment: 

Magnus was interviewed after the Feast or Fired Match. Magnus says that he feels good and he’s looking forward to see what’s in the particular Feast or Fired breifcase he retrived. Bram comes up all into Magnus face yelling at him for turning his back on him, and going into business for himself. Magnus reminds Bram that he’s the reason why Bram has a job in Impact Wrestling and tells Bram to grow up. Bram goes Magnus and both men are seperated.

Bobby Lashley & Kenny King Promo:

Bobby Lashley comes to the ring with a big bandage on his head, and after we see a video package of what happened last week, Lashley tells MVP to bring out his title now. Instead of the title, Kenny King comes out by himself and says that Lashley couldn’t make it in the BDC because he is an unappreciative, ungrateful SOB. King says Lashley didn’t win the title on his own, they helped him because he was part of the family, but Lashley is out of the family now. Everyone here knows Kenny King would be a better champion than Lashley, but Lashley tells him again to bring him his title. King says to get a referee to come out here so he can whip Lashley’s ass, and Lashley says let’s do it, but King says he wants to wrestle in front of people who appreciate him, and the rest of the BDC comes out, with MVP carrying Lashley’s title belt.

Second Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Kenny King w/Beat Down Clan 

Kenny King catches Lashley and works him over in the corner, but Lashley catches King on a crossbody and press slams him onto the BDC on the floor. Lashley brings King back inside and spears him into the corner before hitting a one-armed, delayed vertical suplex. Lashley tosses King across the ring, but King catches him out of nowhere with a twisting enziguiri, snaps his neck down on the top rope, and springboards back in with nothing. Lashley dodges the move and spears King, but the rest of the BDC jumps ion and attacks Lashley before he can make a cover.MVP grabs a mic as Joe and Low Ki hold Lashley, and MVP says that if he wants the title back, to see him on the street where he’ll be waiting for him.

Winner: Bobby Lashley by DQ 

We see a cool video package on the return of Awesome Kong.

Third Match: Gail Kim vs. Havok 

They meet on the ramp as Gail makes her entrance, and Gail gets the early advantage on Havok, beating her up outside the ring and then catching her with a flying bodypress for two count as they come back in. Gail tries the corner crossbody, but Havok catches her and turns it into a suplex, then stomps her down in the corner. Havok squashes Gail with an avalanche in the corner and chokes her on the middle rope, then uses her cape to choke Gail. Havok hits the hammerlock spinebuster, but Gail kicks out at two count, so Havok destroys her with a running kneestrike to the face.

Havok chokes Gail until the referee stops her, and she shoves the referee down to get herself disqualified.Havok still isn’t done, picking Gail up for a powerbomb, then just dropping her face first onto the ring bell. Havok sends Gail inside and goes to chokeslam her, but the lights go out and Kong is in the ring when they come back up! They go nose-to-nose again, and this time Havok lays in a big shot to Kong, but Kong no-sells and clotheslines Havok over the top to the floor. Havok is really pissed off, but she backs down from Kong.

Winner: Gail Kim by DQ 

Fourth Match: Khoya w/The Revolution vs. Tigre Uno 

Uno fires off several kicks at Khoya, who is making his in-ring debut. Khoya no-sells everything, and Storm slaps him in the face to fire him up, after which he catches Tigre on a crossbody and tosses him over with a sloppy fallaway slam. Khoya misses a charge and Tigre gets a springboard dropkick, but Khoya drills him with the Rydien Bomb for the win.

Winner: Khoya

James Storm Promo: 

James Storm gets a mic and says that it’s duly noted that Matt Hardy has conquered his personal demons, but Storm is different from any demon he could ever face. This is the Revolution, and there’s always room for one more.

Bobby Roode & Kurt Angle Backstage Segment: 

Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode are backstage trying to figure out who got screwed worse by the Beat Down Clan. Angle tells Roode he can either work with him and win, or do it alone and lose. Angle & Roode face Low Ki and Eric Young next!

Fifth Match: Bobby Roode & Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young & Low Ki 

Kurt Angle and Low Ki start us off, and Angle quickly runs Ki over with a clotheslines and hits a double clothesline with Roode. Roode with a vertical suplex for two count, Young tags in and Roode goes nuts on him, laying in chops and backdropping Young across the ring. Roode goes for the Roode Bomb, but a kick to the ribs from Low Ki shuts that down and gives Young an opening to hit a DDT for two count. Roode is in the wrong part of town now, and winds up on the receiving end of a great deal of punishment from his opponents.

Roode counters a top rope move to a super belly to belly suplex and tags in Angle, who cleans house on both opponents and nearly turns Ki inside out with a suplex before planting him with the Angle Slam. Young breaks up an anklelock attempt, but Roode clears him out and gets Ki in the Crippler Crossface. Angle knocks Young off the apron and grabs the chair he tried to bring in, then goes after Samoa Joe and MVP when they come down the ramp. This leaves Roode along to take a shot from another chair by Young, and Ki cradles Roode for the win.

Winner: Eric Young & Low Ki 

Rockstar Spud Interview: 

Spud says he was willing to fetch coffee just to get a shot in TNA, but after everything he’s been through here, this could be either the biggest or the worst moment in his career when he opens that briefcase.

MVP challenges Bobby Lashley to a 34th Street Fight.

Sixth Match: Ethan Carter III w/Tyrus vs. Jeremy Borash 

EC3 is wearing a huge brace on his left arm, due to suffering a torn bicep in November. Borash is wearing a hoodie, and Carter then says he will commentate the match himself as they wrestle. Carter is of course an over the top, condescending, douchebag. Borash says he can’t announce worth a damn and he attacks! He takes Carter to the corner and lays in knees and rights! Carter takes him down and lands several mounted rights. The boots follow as Carter yells at Borash for having the audacity to actually fight him. Carter spits at Spud, he’s in and that’s a no contest.

After the match Tyrus lays out Spud. But wait, British Boot Camp II winner Mark Andrews hits the ring and helps run off Carter. They double dropkick Tyrus and send him to the floor. HUGE dive off the top by Spud! Shooting Star Press to the floor from Andrews onto Tyrus! Borash and the British Boot Camp boys stand tall.

Winner: No Contest 

Seventh Match: Matt Hardy vs. James Storm 

Storm misses with a right, and Matt fires back with punches. Irish whip, corner slash by Matt and then a clothesline. Another and Storm is rocked. Boot by Matt, but Storm rolls to the floor to avoid the twist of fate. Baseball slide dropkick by Matt. They brawl up the ramp now, hip toss by Matt follows. Matt rolls Storm back in, but Storm retreats to the floor again. Matt slams him to the steps several times, and back to the ring they go and Matt covers for two count. Side headlock applied by Matt, Storm tries to escape and crotches Matt in the corner. A back stabber by Storm follows and he has taken control. Storm works the knee of Matt, follows with rights and then rakes the eyes.

Storm charges, but runs into a side effect, and Matt covers for two count. Both men struggle to their feet, they trade rights now and then a lung blower by Storm stops that noise. Storm sets, misses the superkick but then tries the whirly bird, Matt escapes and rolls up Storm for the win. Storm tries to offer a handshake to show respect, Matt will have no part of that. Abyss sneaks in and attacks Matt from behind. He holds Matt and Storm nails him with the superkick. Abyss grabs Janice, and looks to attack but Jeff rushes out with a chair to make the save. Twist of fate to Abyss and the Hardys stand tall. Hardy challenges Abyss to a monster’s ball match for next week.

Winner: Matt Hardy 

Feast or Fired? Segment: 

Robbie E says someone else better prepare to get fired because he has a title shot, and he wants Velvet Sky to know she’s the wind beneath his wings. We start with Spud’s briefcase, and Spud looks worried, but opens the briefcase to reveal that he has earned an X Division Title shot. He’s thrilled with that result, so we go to Magnus, who opens the briefcase and reveals that he’s earned a tag title shot. We’re down to Aries and Robbie, and Robbie starts to freak out, but we’re going to have to wait until after this commercial break to find out who gets a World Title shot and who gets fired. Coming back from break Robbie E tricks Velvet Sky to open the breifcase and Velvet Sky gets fired. Austin Aries wins the World Heavyweight Championship breifcase.

Street Fight: 

Lashley arrives outside and it’s time to brawl! Lashley with the early advantage, but MVP fights back and yells that he made Lashley, grabs a trashcan and nails Lashley with it. Knees by Lashley as they brawl back into the Manhattan Center lobby. MVP double legs Lashley, showing that his takedown defense still needs work. But as Lashley starts to take control back, Joe, Ki, King and Young arrive and we have another BDC beat down of Lashley. MVP talks trash as the beat down continues, and then the BDC holds up Lashley and MVP takes cheap shots. Angle and Roode arrive to make the save and the BDC run away to fight another day. Roode sees the TNA Title and picks it up, stares at it, and then at Lashley.

Josh’s Grade for Impact Wrestling: 85/100 B

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About Josh Lopez

Josh Lopez
Josh Lopez is the host of the Pro Wrestling Experience on Chicagolandsportsradio.com and is a graduate of the Illinois Center for Broadcasting. You can email him at joshlopezwwe94@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @JoshLopezCSR

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