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Tonight’s episode of Raw features a HUGE triple threat main event match with DX vs. Jerishow vs. WWE Champion John Cena and World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker. Also, a US Title match featuring the Miz taking on MVP. A Divas Championship lumberjill match with Melina vs. Alicia Fox. All this, plus a whole lot more.
Tonight we emanate from the most famous arena in the world, Madison Square Garden in beautiful New York City, New York.
We begin with special guest WWE Hall of Famer Rowdy Roddy Piper, in a backstage episode of Piper’s Pit. His guest is movie actor Luis Guzman. Piper tells Guzman he heard Luis likes to cook. So, as a treat for Guzman, Hotrod brings in the Iron Chef himself, Bobby Flay. Only, instead of Flay, it’s the Iron SHEIK! Clever. Guzman invokes the name of Hulk Hogan, this causes the Sheik to play with dolls and babble incoherently. Sheik, Guzman, Piper, and the Bella twins all channel their inner Saturday Night Live cast members, by saying, “Live from New York, it’s Monday Night Raw.”
US Champion The Miz vs. MVP in a title match
Miz cuts an in-ring promo. He runs down the crowd and the New York Yankees. As MVP enters he gives his Yankees hat to his girlfriend, The View’s Sherri Shepherd, who’s sitting ringside. Early offense from both guys sees Miz bail out and MVP give chase. Miz gets the better of the exchange and continues the punishment inside. Endgame: MVP tries to come back, but Miz hits him with the Skull-Crushing Finale for the 1-2-3.
Your winner, and still US Champion, The Miz.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Morella
Pre-match Santino enters wearing a NY Rangers jersey. He takes that off to reveal a NY Giants jersey. He takes that off to reveal NY Knicks jersey. He takes that off to reveal a NY Jets jersey. He takes that off to reveal a NY Mets jersey. He takes that off to reveal a Philadelphia Phillies jersey. Cole reminds us that the Yankees spanked them in the World Series. Santino removes the Phillies jersey to finally a reveal a NY Yankees jersey. During the actual match itself, Chavo immediately hits the Three Amigos Suplexes. He goes for a frog splash from 3 turnbuckles, but each time, Santino rolls out of the way. Hornswoggle shows up wearing DX gear. This distracts Chavo enough for a rollup and a 1-2-3. Your winner as a result of a pinfall, Santino Morella.
Post-match. Swoggs crawls under the ring, Chavo gives chase, and the DX music cranks up. Chavo bails, and HHH and HBK both have microphones. They plug their book, throw one into the crowd, and Shepherd catches it. They talk about the Survivor Series PPV this Sunday. They call out Hornswoggle by saying they want to let him join DX. Swoggs comes from under the ring and enters, doing the DX chop for about a year. HHH asks Swoggs if he, and the MSG crowd are ready, and just as he says, “lets get ready to….”, he delivers a picture perfect Pedigree to the poor little guy. DX goes outside, grabs a straight board with a DX logo on it, and carry out their fallen victim.
King and Cole toss to a video package about the history of the WWE at MSG, set to a Jay Z song. Backstage, Piper and Jericho have a meeting. Piper brings in Chris Masters, and he does the boob bounce thing to the Black-Eyed Peas song Boom Boom Pow. And look, here ringside, are the very same Black-Eyed Peas (minus Fergie and WilI I Am).
30 Rock cast member, Judah Friedlander comes to the ring, and announces the next match.
WWE Divas Champion Melina vs. #1 Contender Alicia Fox in a title match
Cole (and accompanying graphic) reminds us of the diva teams for the SS PPV. Friedlander announces that this a lumberjill match. The jills enter, and we see that they are all the respective combatants in said SS PPV match. Short match here, with Melina being the only one to get thrown out of the ring. Just as she is getting mauled by the heels, the faces make the save. Endgame: Melina hits an LA Sunset Power-bomb for the 1-2-3. Your winner as a result of a pinfall, and still Divas Champion, Melina.
Post-match, all six divas are in the ring, beating the crap out of one another with Team Mickie James coming out on top. Cue Melina’s music, and Friedlander joins them in the ring to dance and do karate.
Piper is in the ring, and he has a mic. He gives a history lesson about him and MSG. He has taken on Captain Lou Albano, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant, and Hulk Hogan, and that’s proof, he says, that when you mess with the Hotrod, you either wind up bald or dead. He says he loves them all, mostly the dead ones, not so much the bald ones. He’s the reason Hulk Hogan is bald. He says he’s done some unspeakable things here, and he has one more dirty rotten nasty thing to do. He wants one more match with Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He calls him out, and “No Chance in Hell” cranks up, and out comes Mr. McMahon with his strut and pin striped suit. The two have a good back and forth argument. McMahon says he’s better looking that everyone. McMahon announces he’s officially retired from ring action. Piper tells McMahon that retired is just another word for coward. He challenges him again, and leaves the ring. We learn that next weeks special guest host will be Jesse “The Body” Ventura.
Sheamus has a mic, and challenges anyone in the back. No one comes out, so McFly attacks the time-keeper. Lawler takes exception to this, and stands up to the Irishman. Sheamus then proceeds to kick King in the head.
Cole is now joined on commentary by Matt Stryker. They rundown the card for the SS PPV.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
We join this mid-match after an ad-break. Both guys are trading offense. High-flying aerial assault from Bourne. Ground and pound from Swagger. Endgame: Swagger hits the Gut-Wrench Power-Bomb for the 1-2-3. Your winner as a result of a pinfall, Jack Swagger.
Piper is in the ring, but Randy Orton’s music is playing, and he comes to the ring. He says if it’s a fight Piper wants, and kicks Piper. Piper does get one punch in, but Orton wails on him some more. Just as Orton goes for the punt, Kofi Kingston’s music plays, and out he comes to make the save. They fight outside the ring, and into the crowd. Orton rolls Kofi into the ring, and just he’s about to go for the punt, Kingston pops up, and continues the brawl. He throws Randy outside the ring, and over the security rail. The fight keeps going into the crowd. Kofi nails Randy with a lid to an equipment case. Randy bleeds. Kofi climbs the rail, and just as he does, the refs pull him off, he goes back up, and hits the Boom Drop on Orton who was laying on a table.
John Cena cuts a backstage promo. He discusses tonight’s triple threat match, and the Survivor Series match.
DX vs. Jerishow vs. WWE Champion John Cena and World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker in a triple threat tag team match.
All 6 wrestlers see action in the match, and take turns double teaming their opponents. In a nasty looking spot, Show Irish-whips Taker into the security wall outside the ring. Endgame: They take their turns with their finishers, HBK nails show with Sweet Chin Music, Jericho nails HBK with a Codebreaker, Taker Chokeslams Jericho. Cena hits HHH with an Attitude Adjustment for the 1-2-3. Your winners, as a result of a pinfall, John Cena and The Undertaker.
Post-match, Taker hits Cena with a Tombstone Piledriver.
Good night from Madison Square Garden.
James Serino
Views: 709
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