Despite heavy criticism, I gave WWE major props yesterday for what looked like a renewed creative spirit. I thought things were clicking. Apparently, McMahon & Co felt the opposite, and decided to publicly prove me wrong on last night’s WWE Raw.
I kind of hate these talky interview/talk-show segements like ‘The Highlight Reel’ and ‘MizTV.’ They’re relics of a bygone era. So when I found out Chris Jericho was opening the show with Seth Rollins, I yawned. A lot. Luckily, the first 15 minutes gave us a lot of star power (John Cena, Triple H, Roman Reigns), which kept me from flipping over to WCW Nitro. Unfortunately, the segment was one of the most illogical things I’ve seen since Dustin Rhodes did his shoot promo about Purple Reign and terrible gimmicks.
That’s okay, though – we eventually had a Paul Heyman sighting! But I was already tuned out.
And those #GrowingUpBella vignettes reminded us that not every terrible 80s sitcom name had already been taken (I’m pretty sure this was WWE’s attempt at counter-programming the ‘Unauthorized Saved by the Bell’ story on Lifetime Network).
Still, we eventually got around to Stephanie McMahon sticking her nose in the WWE Divas championship storyline with the most asinine decision ever: blindly granting Nikki a championship match. Because… yeah, that makes sense. Keep this in mind: Stephanie McMahon has been the Women’s Champion, but never the Diva’s Champion. There’s a first time for everything.
Oh, and Bo Dallas did something! Chatted up some illegal immigrants, made googly-eyes at Zeb Coulter, and talked about SummerSlam. It was boooooorrrriiinnggg. Bolieve that.
I considered running down the matches, but the wrestling part of last-night’s show was mostly terrible and insignificant. So instead I’m just going to put in a few superstar names to help improve our SEO:
The Gobbledy Gooker
That Michal Sam thing? Give me a freakin’ break. I’ve got some harsh words for this that I’ll share later but, for now… It’s the worst form of attention-whoring.
The WWE Raw main event went super-long, which I liked. But the shenanigans about the ending (did the winner steal John Cena’s spot at Night of Champions? what exactly was the stipulation?) took it down a few notches.
Mark Henry got MORE Sexual Chocolate chants last night. Heh.
Major props to that guy in the front row who had the ‘WCW Monday Nitro’ sign. The Monday Night Wars are back! It’s just, this time, WWE is competing with itself.
Overall Show: 9.99 (out of 100)
Terrible. Horrible booking, awkward segments, nonsensical character development… what happened WWE? And you brought out Adam Rose? For shame.
What did you think of last night’s WWE RAW? Let us know in the comments below!