Hey, you, loyal WWE RAW viewer. One who never misses an episode. Did you know Monday Night Football was back? Did you know that the NFL is probably going to beat WWE in ratings from now until 2015? Oh, you didn’t? So last night’s WWE RAW booking probably made zero sense then, huh? Funny how that works…
This show teased a certain amount of hope by opening up with Paul Heyman. WWE’s best manager/speaker/former creative director? Should be a hot segment! But then John Cena went all “grumble grumble, fight, beat up bald man, u no see me” and ruined everything. His threats to beat up Paul Heyman excited nobody (because, remember John, we all actually like Paul Heyman more than you), and the fact that creative shoehorned The Great Khali into this train wreck left me in intense physical pain.
But then… WWE RAW got a lot more creative around half-time. That’s right, you didn’t realize WWE RAW even HAD had a half-time, did you? Yep. Right at the start of the third hour. Let me clarify: over 2/3rds of the way through the show, WWE decides to have a thing that EVERY OTHER SPORTING EVENT DOES RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. Just to make sure I wasn’t misinterpreting anything, I consulted Wikipedia:
In some team sports such as association football and rugby, matches are played in two halves. Half-time (also written halftime or half time) is the name given to the interval between the two halves of the match. Typically, after half-time teams swap ends of the field of play, in order to reduce any advantage that may be gained from wind or a slope to the pitch, for example.
It then goes on to list a series of team sports that actually employ a regular half-time. Wresting is not on the list. Funny how that works.
Anyway, the part where John Cena pushed Paul Heyman to the BRINK of heel-deliciousness (well, I guess technically Cena pushed Heyman…), Brock Lesnar’s music hit and made everything quite a bit more entertaining. The tease of Lesnar walking away was fun, the Lesnar/Cena throw-down was a great PPV sell, and just seeing Brock Lesnar with that big, beautiful WWE logo draped over his shoulder excites me to no end. Who knew I’d love a part-time champion?
Between endlessly refreshing my Twitter stream, and avoiding devoting any real attention to WWE RAW, I don’t remember much else that happened except for that Mark Henry “Team America” skit. Because nothing is as exciting as making one of your best heels on the roster a red, white, and blue cheerleader. Or, keeping the exact same storyline going but swapping the face. Or putting it on as your last segment during a go-home show. Asinine decisions indeed.
I debated even covering the matches this week. Why should I? Every single championship contender lost last night… how can I expect them to be any good come Sunday?
Chris Jericho and Kane put on a surprisingly decent match. And the crowd ate it up – one of the few things they seemed interested in all night.
Jack Swagger and Bo Dallas ended their feud, I guess. Why did Bo have to lose? Why did this have to happen on WWE RAW?
Naomi defeated Cameron… not that I watched the match, but think that the GO HOME SHOW for a PPV is the perfect time to debut a middling Diva’s match.
Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns delivered. The crowd was hot, the false finishes were amazing, and the right guy went over. It was, for all intents and purposes, the main-event of the evening. Fantastic, fantastic stuff. Can’t wait until these guys headline ‘Mania.
– …but also, why have Rollins and Reigns fight each other on WWE RAW (to a CLEAN FINISH) when the match is scheduled for Sunday? Nonsensical booking is nonsensical booking.
-I wish TNA would move back to Monday nights, just to see how WWE would react now. The company is already booking shows around football games rather than putting its best foot forward. Imagine if TNA had a “Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle” main event, and WWE put out that Mark Henry crap, and Monday Night Football was a blowout?
-Christian is back on Sunday! Again!
–Bray Wyatt got buried again last night for no apparent reason. It either means WWE is high on Big Show (ugh), or feeling pretty dank about Wyatt (double ugh).
Overall Show: 30-27
Wrestling needs to be wrestling. It needs stop worrying about what other shows are doing, or what other sports its competing with, and just put out a solid, B+ product. This is business, not Candyland. Treat it as such.
Tell us what you thought about WWE RAW in the comments below!